I feel all at sea. Bouncing aimlessly. At the mercy of the wind and the waves. Battered against the rocks. Dried out by the sun. Pelted by the rain.
Emotionally and mentally I’m trying to hold it together but I can’t seem to get it together.
I feel like I’m at a crossroads.
I feel like I need to make some big decisions.
I feel myself slipping back, shutting down, closing myself off to the fantasy that I had with him. Turning my back on the family life, on opening up, on making myself vulnerable.
I feel myself hardening. Choosing to become involved with those I won’t become attached to. Those I can keep at arms’ length.
I am trying to care for myself but I fear I am failing.