I Hope

I hope your next girlfriend manipulates you.

I hope you fall in love with her the way I fell in love with you.

I hope she makes you feel like she’s The One.

I hope you start to dream of a future with her.

I hope she tears your heart out, leaving you feeling broken and alone.

***

That’s not true. That’s my hurt and frustration and anger speaking. I’ve loved you too much to wish pain on you so instead I wish this:

I hope you learn to trust your next girlfriend when she says she’s given you her heart.

I hope you learn to fall in love fully and completely – don’t run from it and don’t be scared. I saw glimpses of it in you, it was wonderful.

I hope you learn how to communicate your feelings openly.

I hope you learn how to be vulnerable with people who’ve earned it.

I hope you find someone to love who makes you laugh, who calms you enough to get to sleep at a decent hour, who is smart enough to get your jokes, who knows how awesome surprise pizza is and worth your time.

I hope you have the life and the love you’ve always wanted and that you’re happy.

But most of all I hope you look back on our time together and remember the first time we kissed, the stairs, how we talked about nothing and everything, all the laughter and our weekends together as unintentional as they were.

***

For me:

I hope I learn to let go of the hurt, the abandonment, the rejection and the trust issues you compounded in me.

I hope I get to have a new love too; one who understands and appreciates all I have to offer.

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