I saw the rheumatologist last Monday – she is treating me for rheumatoid arthritis.
She has put me on a Disease-Modifying Anti-Rheumatic Drug in addition to the steroids, medicine to protect my stomach and my Calcium and Vitamin D.
I feel like my body is defeating me.
Today I woke up to go to work with, fatigue, aching in my joints, a headache and my stomach raging with IBS anger. I stayed home. After going back to sleep until 11 I felt slightly more human but I’ve been holed up in my apartment trying to will myself to feel better.
I tried to make a change that I thought would help me and it seems at every turn, I’m not getting further ahead but falling farther behind.
I desperately need my body back. I need to feel healthy. I need to feel like I have some control over what’s happening to me. Right now every move seems to bring a new pain, a new discomfort, a new side effect.
Now more than ever I want to, no need to lose weight because of the extra pressure it is putting on my already fragile joints. I need to make my weight loss and my health a priority. I need for it to actually make a difference. I need to see an improvement because if I don’t…I don’t know that I can continue to handle it.