#Scintilla – Who I Am…

Lately I’ve been trying to figure out who I am and I’m not sure that I have any answers yet.

I could cop-out and be all existentialist. I could say that I am not yet who I am and I won’t be until I breathe my last breath. And while I appreciate I will be the sum of myself in that moment, I am here, being, existing, now and I have been for the last 33 years.

So who am I?

The more I think of it the more I feel in conflict with who I am and the seemingly impassable distance to who I want to be.

I am a daughter to two people who tried their best to be parents.

I am a step-daughter to two people who probably never wanted to be parents.

I am a step-sister to a man I wish did not share my last name.

I am a niece and cousin to people, some of whom I’ve never met.

I am a best friend to the tiniest group of people who sustain me daily.

I am a diligent co-worker who tries to be proactive, cooperative and supportive.

I am the woman with depression, IBS and arthritis.

I am the woman who loves too hard and falls too fast.

I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

I am more stubborn than the average mule.

I am the shy woman in the corner who just wishes someone would talk to her first.

I am the scared little girl who still doesn’t believe she is worthy.

I am the woman who loves books, foreign films, all things Francophone.

I am the foodie who could eat mangoes, cupcakes, macarons, everyday.

I am so many things but no matter how long I make this list it will only ever show the slightest glimpse into who I really am.

Ultimately, who I am is a work in progress.

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7 thoughts on “#Scintilla – Who I Am…

  1. You forgot “I am Stereo’s overseas sister”.

    You have no idea how happy I am that I met you and how many of these lines could have been written by me, word for freaking word. I love you who are.

    And see, you nailed it 😉

  2. a work in progress is a journey, and all the stuff along your path will move past as you keep traveling. you can pick the flowers as you go and take them with you and leave the thorns behind. and those rocks you stumble on? the blisters and scratches? everything heals. everything heals. even the stuff that leaves scars. you, my dear, are walking your own path, and that is something to be proud of.

  3. “I am so many things but no matter how long I make this list it will only ever show the slightest glimpse into who I really am.” – that’s the amazing thing about these exercises, isn’t it? still, though, i’m happy to see it here on the screen, condensed down. i’m so looking forward to reading your stories, my friend.

  4. I like you. I’ll be the first to wander over to your corner and ask you about French, compare notes about the tragedies that share our names-birth signs-complexions, etc. ❤

  5. I thought it important to read the Scintillastars that people nominated for themselves, and I have to say I like this one as much as I did when I first read it.

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