After this weekend. After my letter to my rapist. After seeing his doppelgänger on my bus yesterday morning. After fighting with my Ex needlessly.
I’m just numb.
I have nothing left.
I don’t care.
I’m not feeling anything.
There are no tears.
I just truly don’t give a fuck.
Today I couldn’t even go through the motions of going to work so I called in sick. I was hoping a day to cocoon would help. It hasn’t.
I give less of a fuck now than I did at 10 am.
I’m not suicidal. I wish I were at least then I’d have a feeling, some direction. Now I am directionless.