To say I needed a vacation is perhaps the understatement of the year.
My vacation began last Friday night with drinks with new friends (a whole post unto itself!). I’ve had 6 days with no stomach upset (except my hangover nausea), minimal joint pain, no need for icing joints, no crying, no feeling stressed or worried or scared.
I was happy until I got home last night. I will admit to being tired but calm and needing my quiet space and then I decided to sabotage myself. I wanted to be cuddled, held, to have sex and I sent a text to the Ex-Boyfriend. When he didn’t answer I reread our exchanges from the last 2 months. Everything from sexting and dirty pictures to him telling me he could never trust me and he doubted I ever loved him. With that I burst my own happiness bubble.
Why would I do that to myself?
I’ve been asking myself this over and over again.
So today I am trying to take better care of myself. I’m trying desperately to undo last night’s damage and to enjoy the last few days of my vacation before I’m back to the grind on Tuesday.
I’ve seen and felt what a huge difference a reduction in stress makes for my mind and my body, now I need to find a way to maintain it.