This is where I was last year…
I can’t help but laugh because if I don’t laugh, I will cry and I may not stop.
Once again it’s another new year. Another chance to make a change and to get control over my life. What this year has taught me is that you can plan and want and need changes to be made but sometimes those things are beyond your control. Sometimes all you can do is be dragged along for the ride.
2012 was the year I was diagnosed with RA. Nothing and no one can prepare you for that.
My hopes for this year are simple:
~ A pain-free day. 24 hours where I do not have any pain – not a headache, or a stomach-ache or sore feet or knees or ankles or hips or hands or shoulders. I just want one in the next 365 days. Surely that’s not too much to ask.
~ I hope I can let go of all the anger I feel. I am stuck between anger and depression on the Kübler-Ross model and sometimes angry depression.
~ I hope this is the year I get a new job. The lack of understanding, compassion and challenges in my current role are making me unhappy.
~ I hope I will have the resources to move to a better place, one I can call home. The space I’m currently in still feels transitory after 2 years here.
~ I hope I can get a puppy.
~ I hope I can meet some of my favourite online people in real life.
~ I hope that I finally figure out what makes me happy.
None of these things are impossible and none of these things are guaranteed. I will do my best.