Dear Boss

First, can we just acknowledge that you’ve fucked up handling my illness and request for accommodation? I mean you know what you’ve done violates the Ontario Human Rights Code and I know what you’ve done violates the Ontario Human Rights Code so let’s just admit it.

I don’t know why you’ve chosen to handle things the way you have but that’s the past. Let’s talk about where we are today.

I don’t trust you. I don’t value what you say and I certainly have no respect for you anymore.

Worse than all of those things I don’t give a shit about my job. A job a used to love. A job that used to challenge me. A job that I used to bust my ass for, trying to prove myself.

You’ve known of my diagnosis for almost as long as I have and your response has been to tell me not to trust my diagnosis or my medical professionals. You even went so far as to suggest I needed a second opinion even though I’ve never suggested any problems with their judgement or treatment. Since then you have provided me with little “pep talks” about not wallowing in my diagnosis. Offering me tidbits about foods that reduce inflammation – if my RA could be cured by eating fruits and veggies I’d be well by now. You mocked me in front of my coworkers when you found out I’d ordered larger pens saying you’d need to “increase your stationery budget” just for me. I sat in your office last summer with an ice pack on my face because I was so overwhelmed by the pain in my TMJ joint. People don’t fake that – at least I don’t.

And finally after months of  taking off random, unpaid sick days (that I couldn’t afford) I finally asked about an accommodation. The ability to work from home one day a week. You ignored me. Put me off. So I followed up again and again until finally 2 months later you decided that having me apply for Short Term Disability was the solution.

Fine.

But that doesn’t help me to do my job? It does allow me to take paid time off to rest and recuperate. Especially since over the last few months I’ve been struggling with fatigue I’ve never known before. Unfortunately, as I’ve taken advantage of my paid sick days you’ve begun to treat me as unreliable. Instead of  being involved in the goings on in our department and the company I’ve been left to handle make busy projects and administrative work. In short I feel undervalued and underutilized.

All of this to say, you’re going to lose me. I’m just waiting for an opportunity to move on.

Me

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