#Scintilla13 – Fix You

The Scintilla Project

Today’s prompt: Talk about a time when you were driving and you sang in the car, all alone. Why do you remember this song and that stretch of road?

***

I’d driven right from work Saturday afternoon to spend the night with him. This had become the norm for us, an evening spent together with me leaving early to head back to work (in another city) before heading home (to yet another city).

That night, we had one of our epic-awkward-painful-fights where I wanted more and he responded, “I can only give you friendship”.

I stayed out of the couch for the first time that night.

The last thing I said before I fell asleep was, “Why can’t you love me?”

I called in sick to work hoping that if I stayed, if we talked, somehow things would get better. Somehow he’d realise his mistake.

Instead after 2 more hours of fighting and hurting each other I finally left.

Driving home on the 401 I was listening to my pink iPod mini (circa 2005), named Cooper, when “Fix You” by Coldplay came on. Something in me came undone. Every word was piercing my soul as I sobbed along. The tears wouldn’t stop. I was shaking and crying and singing and trying not to cause an accident but none of that stopped me from listening to it on repeat for my entire trip.

A couple of years later at a Habs game, I burst into uncontrollable tears. I was trying to fight it but the feelings came rushing back. “Fix You” has been the Habs opening song for years now. Today there are no outbursts just a little twinge,  just a flicker really.

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
If you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears come streaming down your face
And I

Tears come streaming down your face
I promise you I will learn from all my mistakes
Tears come streaming down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

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