“Sunday night” Anxiety

Canada day followed by a vacation day means Wednesday is my Monday and as such I’m falling into my pattern of “Sunday night” anxiety.

Every Sunday, after struggling through my injection side effects, I feel the anxiety creep in. Work in the morning. Nothing is scary these days.

I don’t worry about losing my job, I’m certain my boss is aware I will try to take her and the company down if there was even a hint my job was in danger. That said, I am so unhappy there, so stressed (because of the treatment I received not the workload). I barely stretch myself anymore. I’m putting in what I need to to get by and that’s all I can do. That makes me miserable.

This state of perpetual stress makes me feel unwell. It exacerbates my rheumatoid disease and my depressive symptoms. It’s such an unhealthy environment for me I need to get out. I count the minutes when I’m at work. The seconds sometimes and I bolt at 4 PM on the nose everyday because I do not owe my boss or that company any more of my time than I’m required to work.

Friday I was made to watch a video about psychological standards in the workplace. My boss furiously nodding in agreement with things when all I wanted to say was, “do you see how this was like my situation at all?!?” I truly believe she’s oblivious, which sent my blood pressure through the roof as I listened to the webinar.

An acquaintance was telling me about all the accommodations her company just offered to her and to say I’m envious would be an understatement. After everything I’ve been through this past year wrestling with the stress of work on top of everything else has probably shaved a good five years off my life.

So to help myself I sent out 3 more resumes last week. If I get an interview I know I could make an impression. So keep your fingers crossed.


4 thoughts on ““Sunday night” Anxiety

  1. I can’t begin to fathom how difficult getting up and going to work is for you after all the b.s. you’ve had to deal with in regards to them not accommodating you. Sheesh. All I can say is hang in there – better things are on their way. xoxo

  2. Good luck with those resumes.
    I have a another friend with serious RA problems who managed to start a job just last week and the company is accommodating her problems quite readily. It’s almost like a miracle, isn’t it after all you have been through?

    How can they be so blind that they can agree all through a webinar and miss what is under their noses?

  3. Pingback: YAYAYAYAY! | Pluie et vent sur Aurore

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